Chi's Last Famous Words.

One word.
-Death

I was born from the womb of an abomination. Born from a vampire and an orge. Yet I came to become so beautiful and strong. I had fast movements and I was quick with my tounge. But I knew I wasn't human nor was I a Vampire. I'd gotten my looks from my mother and my strength from my father. I was the only one in my village who couldn't completely be harmed be the sun but over all I was the fastest among many.


When I had turned 17, the Kage and my mother spoke of my turning. They had decided that it was time to become one of them. When I was turned I was in a state of pain for 2 months, they had placed me on an ulter underneath the moon, praying for my health. My village worshiped the moon, and from out deep devoltion to it's mystical powers came are greatest gift. I was given divine powers along with the other members of my village.
The moon that we had worshiped for many years gave us the power to move quickly and quite swiftly. We'd never had this much speed before it's as if we running on water, god like. I was head leader of my kind because I hadn't died from being turned.

We were known throughout the land for are remarkable speed. I went through ranking exams and I became top Anbu in my village because I was the fastest of my kind. But through are great gift came a tragedy of death. People had begun to hate us for our nature as well as are gift so they killed most of my village off. We defended are selfs the best that we could but the other villages had weapons that we had never seen.

Other villages saw us as a horrible threat to there safety even though we had nothing to truly defend ourselves except our natural strength. We were ambushed, they made there attack when the sun was near. They had continued to fight us, drawing us into a longer battle waiting for us to die. Some tryed to retreat to their homes only to find them burned. I escaped from the gruesome slaughter. That night my stomach had felt like acid.

I made my way to antartica to escape the deathly sun. I hid in the mountains waiting for the sun to go down so that I could explore the area waiting for my prey.
A few years had passed, when I had headed back to my village nothing was left. So, I moved on to a new age. I was going to avenge my village no matter what it took. As I approached the first village, I slaughtered the towns folk and then the ninjas' that had invaded my village years ago, after that I had taken out the Kage.

I had decided to attack at night so that I grew with my true power, I could taste the sweet blood of my enemies. Slowly I drained my enemies of their life. As I swiftly passed in a blur, I beheaded those who I approached. A simple step and I'd vanish like the wind blowing through the town like a gentle breeze; they wouldn't see me coming. After I killed the rest of the villages that murdered my friends and family. I layed in my dirty work, waiting for the sun to come but it never did. It was my everlasting perpetual night. I was given a gift to control the sun and moon with the mere thought of it coming. It can only be stopped when my consentration is broken. But for now the sun never came up and I could never die because I was born of two species yet I was still a creature. Draining so many humans I had become a new breed of Vampire because my intake of blood is greater to satisfy then any other vampire.

Only my little girl remains by my side.
Alice, I gave birth to her the night of my killing spree. She was the most precious thing I'd seen. I gave her the name of Alice because I knew she held so much promise. She was as quick as me and she knew my one weakness. I told her never to tell, she had promised but if she did ever betray I'd have to kill her myself. She's only 7 now but that night I took her home with me, so that she'd learn of her past and history.

I made her drink the blood of her enemies.
Having so much blood within my viens gave me a unbelieve able power. Those victims held another power of a sixth sense. I took hold of that with years of practice and skill. I began to notice other things, I've killed many people with special abilities such as those who could see the future and dig into the past. With this new ability I went back home studied my research about Vampires. It was just an old legend. But it stated...

Those who drink the blood of thousands in a heat of rage and pain shall gain immortality with the blood of their enemies that fall by their hand. Once the blood is drawn from the enemy the process begins, the rage builds and the blood lust begins in the heat of the night. Sex and the burning crave of life dig into your skin. Once you unleash the first taste of blood your journey begans. The skin grows thick and hard but remains a smooth surface to the touch, by drawing blood from special people gives eternal life. With that power you are able to control the cosmos, the sun and the moon play at you whim as you use your mind to play tricks on the weak and gain power with the strong. In the end of this legend the user becomes demented but when shown emotion there is a chance of a normal life with normal feelings. But the two swords of the sun and the moon hold the conscience into place, once they are found the secrets of the moon and sun and be unlocked with the mind and body. With these two sowrds great power is give but be warned when used to much can lead to the death of the user if not used with skill and proportion.

A few things :]

-Homophones are wrong, a few spelling errors
-According to most legends Vampire's weaknesses are sunlight, garlic, crosses, holy water, and if I'm not mistaken running water ( if I'm wrong I'll be more than glad to edit my post)
-Also can you elaborate on the new breed of vampire? After all it just said it became perpetual night, it explains nothing about how you acquired your power to control the sun or make it perpetual night where ever you go (I'm assuming), this doesn't mean you're a new breed of Vampire
-Sorry to be anal about this but, I can't let a good background story go to waste with missing details
-And yes I know I don't have one myself

I'll get more detail on that, I need pictures first. It's explained in depth a bit more once I sort out my weapons and Jutsus. I see the spelling errors as well. I got caught up in the moment.

It's fine I know exactly how you feel.

alright my turn.

1. i must point this out so as to not make you seem...anyway you said that
"We were known throughout the land for are unremarkable speed."
call me crazy but i THINK you mean "remarkable" instead of "UNremarkable"

2. story does indeed have holes, but it's not my problem
3. i'll need you to go into depth on this "perpetual night" thing
4. please do elaborate a bit more
5. overall it's a pretty good story
6. Domo is right.

have fun here and all that other crap

Woo...I really like this story, well domo and rion, her character could be understood throughout time it's self, and i like the stort =D , like my characters you don't and will never understand cause there just msyterious and always changing

Thanks you.
They want me to change my attacks so I'll make them breakable.
Going Rouge is death so...
I have try and work with their giving me.

Yeah just work with the basics for right now, but when you get your rank just train and learn the stuff you want...ninja never start powerful and stuff. Like my character only starts with it's Kekkei Genkai which was materialization, and psychic abilities, I had no jutsu what so ever, but since I have a rank I'm now adding the stuff I want and of course training of using them

I've got a few things in mind for a weaker jutsu. Though I would love to use it at this very second I can't so. I'll just have to break it down into parts.
It's my main Jutsu: Perpetual Night. But I'll break it into 9 small summons and attacks that lead up to it. I'll use the final product when I get a higher rank.